it probably doesn't help that i'm watching high school musical 3: senior year, and my own senior year of college is just around the corner, but i'm in the mood to reflect. this past week has been extremely hard for me, but it's also caused me to look back. i thought from the beginning of this month, all the way back to when i was in the hospital as a kid. lately, i've been doubting myself because of my current financial situation, and getting down on myself because my anxiety seems to be my main focus nowadays. but, like always, poetry helps me find clarity. though this week hasn't been fantastic, i've been sharing some fun adventures on my youtube channel and tomorrow i'm seeing taylor swift live. so here are my top poems from this week:
| 7. 5 .18 |
in the darkest of night, i peep through the lyrics
you used to bump through your car
we used to have a song, a lonely
song, a beastly cycloptic song,
one that made me look to the sky
for an answer as to why
i always felt empty around you.
you said that you weren't
broken, but the first step in
healing is acknowledging that
you are broken. you are broken.
you are broken. you're broken.
deep down to your core
so far you'll pass up
someone that could've
sewn you together, but
instead you broke me.
he returns in flashes of being touched,
things he used to say, the color yellow,
and his hair. he stood on top of the
world, ready to conquer and colonize,
scouting where to plant his seed
and he chose me.
the god i trust is the
one who keeps him from
me on these lonely, lonely nights.
| 7. 8 .18 |
a boy once said that i looked at him through
and when i moved on, he wore them too.
the lion of the pack just couldn't handle me,
i wasn't his type.
i see his country
on the eyelids of my atlas--
on the atlas of my eyelids--
and wonder where he really is.
| 7. 9. 18 |
i remember when i
was in the hospital
with pneumonia, bound
to an oxygen tank, and
watching kids shows
in the playroom, and
nasty food. i don't
remember much else.
come back soon,